The Last Two Weeks of Summer

At the time I started writing this, I had been away from site for approximately 2 weeks. For the first 5 days I was in Kiev attending a training on volunteerism with my new counterpart and then following that, Conor and I travelled on to Krivoy Rog to help out at Camp Lead, a camp that teaches leadership skills while practicing the English language. The cool part about the whole experience was that I got to hook up with my entire Cluster and some of my Peace Corps peeps over the course of the entire two weeks. Even cooler, I got to hang out with Conor the whole time. Maybe not as cool, I have a real new found appreciation for McDonalds. (Hey, it’s reliable, you know what you are going to get, it’s fast, and now they have McCafé with decent Latté, Cappuccino, Espresso and Americano).

The trip started off without a hitch. My counterpart met me at the train station a little after midnight and we got on the train. At least I tried to get on the train. The car attendant didn’t put the stairs down and wanted us to climb on. Easy enough for my counterpart who wasn’t carrying much, but I had a HUGE backpack packed for two weeks, and I was carrying a good 10-15 pounds of magazines that I was going to share. I tried to step up and smashed my knee because I lost my balance. The train attendant looked at me and said something along the lines of… ‘Well if you weren’t carrying that huge backpack…’. Gee, thanks.

We seemingly had the compartment to ourselves. We made our beds and went to bed and two hours later 4 people came into our car, turned on the light and were talking loudly. Mind you, this is at 2 in the morning. I was pissed. Half of the group ended up getting off. I got the gist that the two that got on were not Ukrainian, potentially Dutch or from the Nordic, I had trouble placing the language. The woman was polite enough, trying to keep her husband quiet, but he insisted on having a full on conversation with her for a half an hour after the train took off. Grrrr.

Turns out my fellow PCV from Lugansk that I had endured the Baptist camp with was in the very next train car. So at 7am, she sent me a text and told me to come and visit. Since I was asleep when she sent the text I waited a bit, but after that, I was up. So I grabbed some of the breakfast I brought and headed over. We had some breakfast, chatted up some random people who wanted to practice their English. We drank tons of coffee and whiled away the rest of the train ride.

The training was awesome in that we got reunited with a lot of our group mates, both the Community Development Volunteers and the Youth Development Volunteers. The training was designed to train both the volunteer and their counterpart in both English and Ukrainian in how to recruit and motivate volunteers in Ukraine to do community projects. We had moments of separate trainings where they split the Americans and the Ukrainians up, and then we came together at points to come up with a joint project idea. This was DIFFICULT! This is where the language abilities or lack thereof really came to light. The Peace Corps provided a few translators, but it wasn’t sufficient. Everyone was battling for translators.

The training was useful in that we got to compare our sites and speak English freely and be around Americans. We got some forced working time with our Ukrainian counterparts. And the Ukrainians got to meet other Ukrainians hosting Americans to network and compare their trials and tribulations as well. I think the lesson that you aren’t the only one in this boat was useful for all parties. Getting to see my American peeps really gave me the perk up that I needed. It was kind of invigorating to see the ole ‘family’ again. Our cluster was really lucky. We had 4 out of 5, or rather 5 out of 6 since Natasha (our Language teacher) was there as well. Cassie couldn’t make it, but as it turns out, Cassie lives in the city that Conor and I were heading to next so we would get to see everyone, just in parts.

The last day in Kiev, Conor and I were kind of ambling around trying to figure out what to do before our train trip south. At a certain point, I think he said something along the lines of… ‘Wouldn’t it be cool to get a Couples Massage’? I looked at him and said, ‘Where the heck do you think you are right now’? But, this set us off on a search. I mean, it never hurts to look, right? So we happened upon a Chinese medicine and meditation center, but their masseuse was out of town on holiday. We started walking and looking at interesting architecture. And we saw a street sign that said Radisson Hotel some odd meters away. I looked at Conor and said, ‘You know, I bet they have spa services at the Radisson’. Let’s go check it out.

We walked up to the front desk and I asked if they had spa services and the reception dude said something along the lines of, ‘Well yes, of course we do. Go up to the 3rd floor’. They did have a masseuse just sitting around with nothing to do. The tragic part was that they only had one so Conor made the ultimate sacrifice and let me have her and went and walked around for an hour. I got an hour long massage. It was a great massage, a well-needed massage since I had a knot in my shoulder that felt like the equivalent of getting stabbed in the back slowly on and off. They gave me a HUGE fluffy white robe to wear and slippers and there was a nice shower in the dressing room. It was great. And it only cost the equivalent of around 60 USD. This was a huge indulgence in Ukraine, but a very necessary indulgence from my perspective.

After Conor and I got on our train headed to Krivoy Rog. We had splurged for Lux tickets. Our compartment had only two berths and we didn’t have to share it with anyone else. Let’s just say we had fun in our private compartment. We did some berth surfing with the door locked. It was a fun ride. Unfortunately, we got in at 7am, so we slept most of our time away in our private compartment.

We made our way to the hotel that Frank and Carol (the camp directors and Peace Corps Volunteers) live in. Frank and Carol’s apartment was nice, but the hotel was definitely creepy. It was a bit ramshackle and had long hallways with empty rooms. And not to waste resources, the lights were off. It felt kind of like the Soviet version of ‘The Shining’. I was waiting for creepy twins to appear at the end of the hallway.

The camp was an English language camp for motivated youth. Camp Lead [insert link] taught leadership skills and went through the process of how to design and implement a project in their communities. The kids seemed pretty pleased with it, minus the food situation. We served the Ukrainian version of luncheon meats for both lunch and dinner to these kids for 5 days. What’s the Ukrainian version of luncheon meats? Sausage, all different kinds of sausages. I have never seen so much sausage in my life. It was maddening. Each day we would oversee and manage the food prep for over 200 people. Now imagine how much sausage it takes to feed 200 people, twice daily for 5 days. Let’s just say, I don’t want to eat another sausage for a long time. I had a meltdown over the sausage one day. It wasn’t pretty. Everyday Conor and I left smelling like lunch ladies.

The highlights of the week made all that sausage harassment worth it though. We got to see Cassie. And we got to go to the banya twice. This banya was different from the one in Starry Belous. It had a small pool for us to jump into after the sauna. What a treat! We also went out for sushi twice with Cassie, and weird pizza once where the waitress kept trying to push us to put peach on our pizzas. Conor made it his quest to eat Okroshka (cold cucumber and dill soup) everyday. I drank as much freaking cappuccino as I could. We also visited Costco, or rather Metro, which is a German owned version of Costco in Ukraine. Conor found hot sauce and bottled salsa (Heinz, more like spicy ketchup, but per usual he had high hopes for it). I also got to copy TONS of movies and television series onto my hard-drive. I am slowly stockpiling media for the winter. All in all it was a great trip.

We also got to check out Cassie’s org ‘Shelter Plus’ [insert link]. It is a great organization housed in a super cool building with a gym, multiple recording studios, instruments to jam, a stage, a video lab, a computer lab, a crash pad, and a cafeteria. The gist of it is that it provides a safe place for youth to hang and explore their creative sides as well as other healthy lifestyle choices (i.e. working out). Let’s just say, Conor and I were super envious of Cassie’s situation. We want to go hang there for awhile. At night, there is always someone at the Shelter to guard the place, because it is that cool. So if we go to visit Cassie, we can stay there and play all night with the costumes on stage and in the gym.

The train ride back was pretty harmless, although a bit strange. I got a top berth in my compartment and for a couple of hours I was all alone. But then a family of 5 came in. Mind you there are only 4 bunks and I was on one of them. It was a mother, father, a teenage daughter who was my size, an 8 year old boy, and a baby. I was wondering how this was going to work, but apparently the teenager and the boy shared the other top berth and just laid head to feet. The father had his own and the mother and the baby were together. We all got off the train in Kharkiv a little after midnight. Then I had to wait in Kharkiv for two hours for my one hour train ride back to my town. Apparently there are various waiting rooms that you can pay for entrance too. I didn’t realize this until I was leaving, otherwise I would have paid the 30 HRV (3.50 USD) to sit in the Luxury Lounge instead of in general population where both to my left and right there was someone hacking up a lung. I am really hoping I don’t get TB by association while I am here.

My train ride to Balakleya was only an hour, but kind of eventful. Since it was only for an hour, I decided to ride Platzkart which is considered 2nd class. The car is open, but there are berths and bunks to sleep on just kind of all over the place. There was some interesting snoring, some interesting smells, but it felt really safe. I guess the safety in numbers rule applies here. In the Koupé compartments that I have ridden in thus far, it’s a closed compartment with 4 bunks. I guess if you have the wrong compartment mates, you might get trapped with people you don’t really want to be with. The compartment lady was really nice. She came over to wake me so that I was ready to get off the train and then realized that I didn’t speak Russian. She came over twice more, I think just to check on me, with the last time being to tell me to get ready to get off the train. I like that this happens, it makes it less likely that you will miss your stop, especially since it isn’t always obvious where you are getting off.

I got in at 3:45 in the morning so I took a cab. I told the cabbie my address and when we got to my building as he pulled towards my entrance (there are several), I said, ‘This is it, right here’. He said, ‘I know’. Apparently word has spread that there is a foreigner in town that lives in my building, speaks horrible Russian, and takes cabs to and from train station. I thankfully found my apartment exactly as I have found it. Apparently, I have a security system in place that I am not yet aware of. Or perhaps, people just don’t break into people’s apartments in Balakleya. Either way, that gives me some piece of mind seeing as I will likely travel a lot over the next 2 years.

Okroshka

Speaking of Okroshka (cold cucumber and dill soup), since Conor thinks it is all the rage I decided to try my hand at making it. I mean, it’s good. Why not give it a whirl? I told Caroline that I was going to give it a shot and she had some suggestions. (Caroline is one of my crazy friends in Lugansk who has been cooking up a storm. She made Conor and I fresh salsa last time we were there to visit. I want to be wherever Caroline is for Thanksgiving. She is a great cook). I found a recipe for Okroshka online and decided to work off of that. I don’t really follow recipes in the strict sense, I just kind of use the basics as guidance. The recipe called for Kvass which is a fermented black bread drink that the Ukrainians home brew and jokingly call the Ukrainian Cola. The recipe mentioned that the store-bought kvass would likely be too sweet for the recipe, therefore I was going to take Caroline’s suggestions to improvise. I have no idea at this point where to acquire home-brewed kvass.

What you will need for the recipe is kefir (a drinkable consistency plain yogurt), sour cream, cucumbers, lots of fresh dill, green onions, garlic, hard-boiled eggs, boiled potatoes, spicy mustard, and I used pickled button mushrooms for a meat substance, but normally it’s something along the lines of chopped up hot dog or ham.

Chop all the parts really small and put in a big bowl, mix in equal parts kefir and sour cream, put in a teaspoon to a tablespoon of spicy mustard depending on your taste, and use lots of chopped fresh dill. Once mixed, let it sit in the fridge for a couple of hours. If the consistency is too thick when it’s time to serve, mix in some water. Salt to taste. Obviously, it’s served cold.

First Day of School

Today is September first. Today is also the first day of school for everyone in Ukraine. And in true Ukrainian fashion it is a day of celebration… and a half day for the kids filled with parades and festivities. Back in June when I met the English teachers and the principal at the high school, one of the English teachers explained that I should come by on the first day because it was a huge celebration, and maybe an interesting cultural moment for me to see. So I tucked this bit of information away in my head all summer and this week at work told them that I was going to go to the high school on the first day. I wanted to see the festivities.

This of course spiraled into a situation where my boss demanded that someone take me to the high school. I tried to say that I could call one of the English teachers and ask them, but for some reason, whenever I say something like I can call one of the English teachers for help, my boss jumps in and says ‘No’. We will help you, which then results in my boss telling one of the ladies in the office to help me. And then I fear them resenting me for creating ‘more work’ for them.

So I had to meet my counterpart at the school at 12:30. I am positive that the words 12:30 came out of her mouth. Apparently the 12:30 was in the sentence, but apparently what was said was that the kids go to school from 8:30 to 12:30 on the first day. I knew something was wrong with that when as I was eating breakfast I could hear music and national anthems from the elementary school next door to me. So I figured maybe she said 10:30 instead of 12:30 since 10 and 12 can sound similar if said fast. At 8:50 I got a pissed off phone asking me where I was. Why wasn’t I at the high school? This is when I found out that it was supposed to be 8:30. Hey man, don’t get mad at me if you didn’t double-check that I understood the time.

I ended up standing around like a stalker watching the festivities until I saw the English teacher and latched on. She politely berated me for not calling her all summer then grabbed me by the arm and dragged me into the principal’s office. And then we proceeded to drink for two hours. Hey it’s Ukraine, and the first day of school is a celebration. You have to start it off with a bang.

There were many toasts and at one point the English teacher grabbed me and said, after this we will visit the semen tree. I was clearly confused, so I kept a straight face and asked her what a semen tree was. She told me it was where they buried there loved ones after they died… Ah, the cemetery. Good, I didn’t know where the cemetery was and after living in Starry Belous where there seemed to be a cemetery every corner. I was a bit confused as to where the dead people went in my town. I should also note that after I told her that I would like to visit the cemetery, she didn’t make the mistake again.

Quick note about the cemeteries here. This was the first time I actually entered a cemetery in Ukraine. I’ve walked by them sure, but I haven’t really been inside. The cemetery in my town is actually really nice. The stones have a picture of the person who died etched into them somehow. I was curious about this so I ran my fingers over the picture to see how it was done. My friend explained to me that the pictures are on the stone because it is a Christian tradition that if the spirit sees it’s face it won’t come back to haunt the living… or something along those lines. I wasn’t aware of this tradition back in the states, but it seems to be a huge tradition here since each and every stone had a picture perfect face on it. I’ll have to go back and take a picture some time.

So goes a really eventful first day of school Oh, and I also have a future invite to the banya… which is apparently not in my town, but in the area of my town. So I am looking forward to that.

I am still working on an entry for the last two weeks, a training in Kiev, good friends, a camp, a super first class train ride, and lots of sausage. All coming up soon.

The Final Countdown and other Amazing Adventures

Well the most amazing thing happened this past week. I went to a real Ukrainian camp. My boss invited me to go to camp for 3 days when I first started working. He’d pick up the calendar, point to the dates, and say ‘CAMP’, ‘understand’? (This is how my boss communicates with me for the most part… he says one word in Russian, then says ‘understand’… which I do, I understand what the word means, but without at context is doesn’t mean that much). So this happened a few times over the past weeks so that he made sure that I understood that I was doing something August 5th through the 7th.

Of course, I wanted more information, so at some point, I asked him where the camp was. He pulled up a map of Kharkivska oblast and pointed somewhere east of Kharkiv. ‘There, that’s where it is, understand’? Fine, and then I wanted to know what kind of camp it was. ‘HIV/AIDS, training, understand’? So I had the bare minimum for what I could expect. I asked him what I should bring and he told me, nothing… and then, he didn’t know. And then, I got more specific. Do I need a sleeping bag, sheets, pillow, towel? Well sleeping bag, no, sheets, no, pillow, no… but towel, yes. Okay fine. So armed with this bit of knowledge I was supposedly prepared for camp.

The morning we were supposed to leave I met him in the center by the administration building. At a certain point, he said, Amy let’s go, so I got in the car and we started driving. My boss put on his seatbelt. This is a novelty in Ukraine. People just don’t wear seatbelts. When I get in the front seat its automatic, I put on my seatbelt. But in Ukraine, this is offensive. It says to the driver that you don’t trust them. My boss asked me at some point, why I put it on, I explained that it was a reflex, automatic. In the US, it’s the law, so I don’t even think about it. That time, he put his on in solidarity. This time, I was confused momentarily, but then as we were driving a driver approaching us in the opposite direction had crossed his arm across his chest and was tapping the opposite shoulder. I came to learn that that gesture means cops.

So my boss said, Amy, cops, da? I said it, and he tried to match my pronunciation. Cops. Then I said, or you can say ‘Po-Po’. Po-Po is slang for cops. So he said it and laughed, and said it again and I laughed because when he said it, it sounded more like Poo-Poo. But eventually, he got it. Then for the gusto, I said, ‘Po-Po in da hawz’. And that confused him because he understood the word house, but didn’t understand because we were outside in a car. So I explained that that meant that there were Po-Po around and I gestured around with my hand. And he got it. So for a few minutes he repeated, Po-Po in the house. This is something I wish I got on videotape.

Our drive to the camp, was scenic and long. Logistically speaking, the camp wasn’t that far from Balakleya, but the roads are so crappy that it takes double and triple the time that it would take to drive anywhere in the states. After almost 2 hours we made it. When we got there my boss greeted his friends and pointed out his boss, but then told me to go walk around the lake for a couple of hours. He would call me when he was ready. Uh okay. This was fine, but it was HOT and my water was locked in the trunk of his car at his suggestion. Before parting, I demanded the water and that he show me where the toilet was. He showed me the toilet and explained that each dorm had one, but we didn’t get my water. I ended up sitting by the lake and reading my book.

After awhile, I went back up and looked for him because I was thirsty. Ukrainians, actually don’t drink that much water, so they don’t understand why Americans need to drink lots of it. I needed my water. I got my water, deposited my valuables in his trunk, got my bags and we set out for my room. I got my own room, it had 5 beds in it. My door didn’t close, but eventually, a handyman came around and fixed the lock and gave me a key. Prior, I jammed a Rolling Stone magazine in the jam to keep the door closed. Ah Ukraine.

With my prior prompting, after lunch he sat me down with his schedule and told me the important things like, when to eat and when the trainings were to take place and that there was an opening ceremony that night that I needed to go to before dinner, and that after dark there was a discotheque. This discotheque seems to be a common theme at Ukrainian camps. Some guy with a sound system blares techno and the kids dance. So for a couple of hours I was free, so I swam for a bit then went to my room to relax and read and charge my phone. My boss came in shortly after bearing a light blue t-shirt, a ball cap, a handkerchief, a small pouch and a pen and pad all with the social organizations logo on them. Camp schwag, very nice. He explained that I was to wear this to the opening ceremony. Fair enough. He left and came back a half an hour later and took the handkerchief back and explained something about the ceremony and tying it around my neck. Okay.

I then went to some trainings and finally settled on one that was outside in one of the camp’s gazebos. The kids were interested and the trainer was really energetic, so even though I really couldn’t understand what was going on, it was amusing to watch. The training seemed to wrap up when another lady came by and explained that the kids had to go and pick up their t-shirts and ball caps for the ceremony. So, I went for another swim and headed back to my room and read for a bit since the ceremony wasn’t for another hour.

When it came to be around time for the ceremony, I ventured out and was welcomed by a sea of people dressed in the same uniform of the light blue t-shirt, caps, etc. It made me think of the Smurfs. I headed to the patio to meet my boss and we ended up standing around for a bit waiting. Then the sound system cued up, the techno music started and the kids in 3 lines each of single-file lines started marching onto the patio. They marched on, the lady with the microphone told them they looked like crap (or so I imagined she said, based on the tone and volume of her voice) and they filed off the patio. Cue the music, they did it again, and then again, filed off the patio. I was confused so I asked my boss if it was over, and he said no, that this was an exercise in repetition. Ah okay.

So a few more ‘repetitions’, the kids in teams of twenty or so recited something for the crowd in a very cheerleader kind of way, and then there were introductions, like at an awards show. Except in this case, it was the higher ups in the Kharkiv Oblast Government that lead the social services organization. The lady with the microphone gave an introduction and the person would saunter across the patio and everyone would clap. It was a bit surreal.

Towards the end of the ceremony, they came to the part where they were honoring their guests that were visiting the camp. So each person who was honored was asked to come forward and stand in a line. In Ukraine, when people make speeches they are, let’s say, extremely long-winded. It’s like that with toasts too. So my mind tends to wander, especially since I only understand 2 out of every 5 words and then don’t always understand how it all fits together in a sentence. But at a certain point, I clued in. The last honoree was me! My boss cleverly snapped my photo at the exact moment when I realized that they were talking about a volunteer from the United States, who was in Ukraine with the Peace Corps. The look on my face in the photo is absolutely classic. It can only be described as my ‘What the Fuck?’ Face. I joined the people in line and one of the kids was assigned to present me with a small gift and tie the handkerchief around my neck, scout style. This whole ceremony was AWESOME, so Ukraine. Then at the end of the ceremony the kids filed off to blaring techno music. I went directly to my room and took off my blue get-up because honestly, that t-shirt was super hot.

I then ambled around waiting for dinner to start, but in so doing was scooped up by the Secretary of something or other and he told me that I was supposed to be in the staff room for a celebration. My boss told me nothing of the sort, but maybe I missed the invitation when I scooted to change my clothes. In the room the table was lined with wine, cognac, beer, kvas (fermented black bread drink), juice and water, plus a whole bunch of Ukrainian drinking snacks like break, cheese and sausages, olives, cucumbers, tomatoes, and lettuce (that might have been garnish). The Secretary of so and so demanded that I sit next to him and drink. My boss, kept saying Amy, Beer, Amy, Beer, so guess what I drank?

There were a lot of long-winded toasts, I felt like it was my place to put my two cents in on that, so I stood up and said ‘May I?’ in Russian. Then said, ‘Rock and Roll’, understand? Heads nodded. And then I said Ukraine, understand? And there was a chorus of ‘Da’s. And then I said, ‘Ukraine ROCKS!’ and there was some mumbling and then someone yelled out, ‘To Ukraine!’ in Russian so it went over well. I was being associated with Rock and Roll to begin with because there were a few people at the table who were fans of Woodstock, the music festival. So thanks to the old last name, I get some instant recognition, but then confusion when I explain that no, I wasn’t born at, nor conceived at Woodstock.

I made friends with two hip gals at the table by joining them when they went out for a smoke break. (In case you were wondering, I did not partake). They told me that they had just returned from a concert in Poland, like Woodstock, called the Heart to Heart festival. Then they wanted to take picture for Facebook. Later when we went back the party seemingly had dispersed so I loaded some water, the rest of a bottle of red wine and some cognac into my bag and we high-tailed it out of there after one of the girls grabbed some of the food. At this point, I had started doing shots of cognac with them and I was feeling really good. And they thought it was awesome that I smuggled the booze out in my bag. They told me that was very Ukrainian. I told them, that was very Amy. We went back to their room and continued to drink, then we headed off to the discotheque where we shook our money makers like crazy, probably to the embarrassment of all the kids.

Let’s just say, I had fun that night, but the next day, was just a tad painful. This is the second time I have sincerely tried to drink with Ukrainians. Amy, learn your lesson. You are not built for that crap. Stick with your red wine and gin and tonics, refrain from the vodka and cognac shots… or shots of anything for that matter. You will thank me for this bit of advice later.

I went to the second half of the training with the energetic trainer. The kids played some fun team-building games that I have and haven’t seen before. At the end, they handed out certificates to the kids for all their efforts. And oddly enough, despite the fact that I just sat and watched, I got a certificate too (certificates after events are also very Ukrainian). After the training, I swam a bit with the other adults. There was a huge picnic spread of stuff to pick on, but they were demanding I do shots. Nope, No, No Way, Not Again. Maybe they thought I was rude for refusing, but there was no way I could do that again. After lunch, I snuck to my room and took at nap.

After dinner there was a talent show that was absolutely amazing. The kids sang, and did choreographed dance sequences to techno music. It was unbelievable. I had to keep pinching myself, because it was so obvious that I was in Ukraine. There is even a Ukrainian version of what looked like the Macarena! The kicker for me though was a choreographed karate fight scene where one kid was dressed in a black Gei and the other in a white Gei and the song Final Countdown was playing as they fought. It was awesome. I figured nothing could top that, so I snuck off and went to bed early before anyone could rope me into another night of crazy drinking.

The next day we had breakfast and hit the road early. My boss asked me, ‘You went to bed early last night didn’t you’? Yep, I did. How did you sleep, OTLEECHNA (means super). I asked him how he slept and he said ploe-ha (horrible). He told me he wanted sleep badly. I think he was jealous that I snuck off and went to bed early. We drove the two hours home, I got home, got inside, and locked my door. Dropped my stuff and tried to head out the door to make it to the Post Office to pick up my packages and my key was stuck in the door. Lame. So I grabbed my bag and said a little prayer to the gods and left my key in the door and went to the store and picked up my packages. I called my boss when I got back and he came right over despite the fact that I had just woken him up. Then he turned the key and it came right out. I screamed, ‘You have got to be fucking kidding me!?!’ and we both laughed. He didn’t quite understand so he made me say ‘You have got to be fucking kidding me!?!’ over and over again. I explained that I had no idea how to say it in Russian. But then we laughed again and he left.

What a great Ukrainian adventure.

The Final Countdown and other Amazing Adventures

Well the most amazing thing happened this past week. I went to a real Ukrainian camp. My boss invited me to go to camp for 3 days when I first started working. He’d pick up the calendar, point to the dates, and say ‘CAMP’, ‘understand’? (This is how my boss communicates with me for the most part… he says one word in Russian, then says ‘understand’… which I do, I understand what the word means, but without at context is doesn’t mean that much). So this happened a few times over the past weeks so that he made sure that I understood that I was doing something August 5th through the 7th.

Of course, I wanted more information, so at some point, I asked him where the camp was. He pulled up a map of Kharkivska oblast and pointed somewhere east of Kharkiv. ‘There, that’s where it is, understand’? Fine, and then I wanted to know what kind of camp it was. ‘HIV/AIDS, training, understand’? So I had the bare minimum for what I could expect. I asked him what I should bring and he told me, nothing… and then, he didn’t know. And then, I got more specific. Do I need a sleeping bag, sheets, pillow, towel? Well sleeping bag, no, sheets, no, pillow, no… but towel, yes. Okay fine. So armed with this bit of knowledge I was supposedly prepared for camp.

The morning we were supposed to leave I met him in the center by the administration building. At a certain point, he said, Amy let’s go, so I got in the car and we started driving. My boss put on his seatbelt. This is a novelty in Ukraine. People just don’t wear seatbelts. When I get in the front seat its automatic, I put on my seatbelt. But in Ukraine, this is offensive. It says to the driver that you don’t trust them. My boss asked me at some point, why I put it on, I explained that it was a reflex, automatic. In the US, it’s the law, so I don’t even think about it. That time, he put his on in solidarity. This time, I was confused momentarily, but then as we were driving a driver approaching us in the opposite direction had crossed his arm across his chest and was tapping the opposite shoulder. I came to learn that that gesture means cops.

So my boss said, Amy, cops, da? I said it, and he tried to match my pronunciation. Cops. Then I said, or you can say ‘Po-Po’. Po-Po is slang for cops. So he said it and laughed, and said it again and I laughed because when he said it, it sounded more like Poo-Poo. But eventually, he got it. Then for the gusto, I said, ‘Po-Po in da hawz’. And that confused him because he understood the word house, but didn’t understand because we were outside in a car. So I explained that that meant that there were Po-Po around and I gestured around with my hand. And he got it. So for a few minutes he repeated, Po-Po in the house. This is something I wish I got on videotape.

Our drive to the camp, was scenic and long. Logistically speaking, the camp wasn’t that far from Balakleya, but the roads are so crappy that it takes double and triple the time that it would take to drive anywhere in the states. After almost 2 hours we made it. When we got there my boss greeted his friends and pointed out his boss, but then told me to go walk around the lake for a couple of hours. He would call me when he was ready. Uh okay. This was fine, but it was HOT and my water was locked in the trunk of his car at his suggestion. Before parting, I demanded the water and that he show me where the toilet was. He showed me the toilet and explained that each dorm had one, but we didn’t get my water. I ended up sitting by the lake and reading my book.

After awhile, I went back up and looked for him because I was thirsty. Ukrainians, actually don’t drink that much water, so they don’t understand why Americans need to drink lots of it. I needed my water. I got my water, deposited my valuables in his trunk, got my bags and we set out for my room. I got my own room, it had 5 beds in it. My door didn’t close, but eventually, a handyman came around and fixed the lock and gave me a key. Prior, I jammed a Rolling Stone magazine in the jam to keep the door closed. Ah Ukraine.

With my prior prompting, after lunch he sat me down with his schedule and told me the important things like, when to eat and when the trainings were to take place and that there was an opening ceremony that night that I needed to go to before dinner, and that after dark there was a discotheque. This discotheque seems to be a common theme at Ukrainian camps. Some guy with a sound system blares techno and the kids dance. So for a couple of hours I was free, so I swam for a bit then went to my room to relax and read and charge my phone. My boss came in shortly after bearing a light blue t-shirt, a ball cap, a handkerchief, a small pouch and a pen and pad all with the social organizations logo on them. Camp schwag, very nice. He explained that I was to wear this to the opening ceremony. Fair enough. He left and came back a half an hour later and took the handkerchief back and explained something about the ceremony and tying it around my neck. Okay.

I then went to some trainings and finally settled on one that was outside in one of the camp’s gazebos. The kids were interested and the trainer was really energetic, so even though I really couldn’t understand what was going on, it was amusing to watch. The training seemed to wrap up when another lady came by and explained that the kids had to go and pick up their t-shirts and ball caps for the ceremony. So, I went for another swim and headed back to my room and read for a bit since the ceremony wasn’t for another hour.

When it came to be around time for the ceremony, I ventured out and was welcomed by a sea of people dressed in the same uniform of the light blue t-shirt, caps, etc. It made me think of the Smurfs. I headed to the patio to meet my boss and we ended up standing around for a bit waiting. Then the sound system cued up, the techno music started and the kids in 3 lines each of single-file lines started marching onto the patio. They marched on, the lady with the microphone told them they looked like crap (or so I imagined she said, based on the tone and volume of her voice) and they filed off the patio. Cue the music, they did it again, and then again, filed off the patio. I was confused so I asked my boss if it was over, and he said no, that this was an exercise in repetition. Ah okay.

So a few more ‘repetitions’, the kids in teams of twenty or so recited something for the crowd in a very cheerleader kind of way, and then there were introductions, like at an awards show. Except in this case, it was the higher ups in the Kharkiv Oblast Government that lead the social services organization. The lady with the microphone gave an introduction and the person would saunter across the patio and everyone would clap. It was a bit surreal.

Towards the end of the ceremony, they came to the part where they were honoring their guests that were visiting the camp. So each person who was honored was asked to come forward and stand in a line. In Ukraine, when people make speeches they are, let’s say, extremely long-winded. It’s like that with toasts too. So my mind tends to wander, especially since I only understand 2 out of every 5 words and then don’t always understand how it all fits together in a sentence. But at a certain point, I clued in. The last honoree was me! My boss cleverly snapped my photo at the exact moment when I realized that they were talking about a volunteer from the United States, who was in Ukraine with the Peace Corps. The look on my face in the photo is absolutely classic. It can only be described as my ‘What the Fuck?’ Face. I joined the people in line and one of the kids was assigned to present me with a small gift and tie the handkerchief around my neck, scout style. This whole ceremony was AWESOME, so Ukraine. Then at the end of the ceremony the kids filed off to blaring techno music. I went directly to my room and took off my blue get-up because honestly, that t-shirt was super hot.

I then ambled around waiting for dinner to start, but in so doing was scooped up by the Secretary of something or other and he told me that I was supposed to be in the staff room for a celebration. My boss told me nothing of the sort, but maybe I missed the invitation when I scooted to change my clothes. In the room the table was lined with wine, cognac, beer, kvas (fermented black bread drink), juice and water, plus a whole bunch of Ukrainian drinking snacks like break, cheese and sausages, olives, cucumbers, tomatoes, and lettuce (that might have been garnish). The Secretary of so and so demanded that I sit next to him and drink. My boss, kept saying Amy, Beer, Amy, Beer, so guess what I drank?

There were a lot of long-winded toasts, I felt like it was my place to put my two cents in on that, so I stood up and said ‘May I?’ in Russian. Then said, ‘Rock and Roll’, understand? Heads nodded. And then I said Ukraine, understand? And there was a chorus of ‘Da’s. And then I said, ‘Ukraine ROCKS!’ and there was some mumbling and then someone yelled out, ‘To Ukraine!’ in Russian so it went over well. I was being associated with Rock and Roll to begin with because there were a few people at the table who were fans of Woodstock, the music festival. So thanks to the old last name, I get some instant recognition, but then confusion when I explain that no, I wasn’t born at, nor conceived at Woodstock.

I made friends with two hip gals at the table by joining them when they went out for a smoke break. (In case you were wondering, I did not partake). They told me that they had just returned from a concert in Poland, like Woodstock, called the Heart to Heart festival. Then they wanted to take picture for Facebook. Later when we went back the party seemingly had dispersed so I loaded some water, the rest of a bottle of red wine and some cognac into my bag and we high-tailed it out of there after one of the girls grabbed some of the food. At this point, I had started doing shots of cognac with them and I was feeling really good. And they thought it was awesome that I smuggled the booze out in my bag. They told me that was very Ukrainian. I told them, that was very Amy. We went back to their room and continued to drink, then we headed off to the discotheque where we shook our money makers like crazy, probably to the embarrassment of all the kids.

Let’s just say, I had fun that night, but the next day, was just a tad painful. This is the second time I have sincerely tried to drink with Ukrainians. Amy, learn your lesson. You are not built for that crap. Stick with your red wine and gin and tonics, refrain from the vodka and cognac shots… or shots of anything for that matter. You will thank me for this bit of advice later.

I went to the second half of the training with the energetic trainer. The kids played some fun team-building games that I have and haven’t seen before. At the end, they handed out certificates to the kids for all their efforts. And oddly enough, despite the fact that I just sat and watched, I got a certificate too (certificates after events are also very Ukrainian). After the training, I swam a bit with the other adults. There was a huge picnic spread of stuff to pick on, but they were demanding I do shots. Nope, No, No Way, Not Again. Maybe they thought I was rude for refusing, but there was no way I could do that again. After lunch, I snuck to my room and took at nap.

After dinner there was a talent show that was absolutely amazing. The kids sang, and did choreographed dance sequences to techno music. It was unbelievable. I had to keep pinching myself, because it was so obvious that I was in Ukraine. There is even a Ukrainian version of what looked like the Macarena! The kicker for me though was a choreographed karate fight scene where one kid was dressed in a black Gei and the other in a white Gei and the song Final Countdown was playing as they fought. It was awesome. I figured nothing could top that, so I snuck off and went to bed early before anyone could rope me into another night of crazy drinking.

The next day we had breakfast and hit the road early. My boss asked me, ‘You went to bed early last night didn’t you’? Yep, I did. How did you sleep, OTLEECHNA (means super). I asked him how he slept and he said ploe-ha (horrible). He told me he wanted sleep badly. I think he was jealous that I snuck off and went to bed early. We drove the two hours home, I got home, got inside, and locked my door. Dropped my stuff and tried to head out the door to make it to the Post Office to pick up my packages and my key was stuck in the door. Lame. So I grabbed my bag and said a little prayer to the gods and left my key in the door and went to the store and picked up my packages. I called my boss when I got back and he came right over despite the fact that I had just woken him up. Then he turned the key and it came right out. I screamed, ‘You have got to be fucking kidding me!?!’ and we both laughed. He didn’t quite understand so he made me say ‘You have got to be fucking kidding me!?!’ over and over again. I explained that I had no idea how to say it in Russian. But then we laughed again and he left.

What a great Ukrainian adventure.

Ukrainian Camp 2010 Pics

Ukrainian Camp

Lugansk 2010 Pics

Lugansk 2010